1.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

User: Hi, this is Rekha. I can't get my CD out.

Customer Support: Have you tried pushing the button?

User: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Customer Support: That doesn't sound good. I'll make a note.

User: No, wait a minute.. I hadn't inserted it yet.. It's still on my desk.. Sorry..

2.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Customer Support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

User: Your left or my left?

3.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Customer Support: Good day. How may I help you?

User: Hello... I can't print.

Customer Support: Would you click on "Start" for me and...

User: Listen this.. Don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

4.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

User: Hi, good afternoon, this is Gita, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..

5.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

User: I have problems printing in red...

Customer Support: Do you have a color printer?

User: Aaaah................... Thank you.

6.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Customer Support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

User: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the mall.

7.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

User: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Customer Support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

User: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Customer Support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back

User: OK!

Customer Support: Did the keyboard come with you?

User: Yes.

Customer Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

User: Yes, there's another one here. Ah.. That one does work..

8.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Customer Support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

User: Is that 7 in capital letters?

9.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

User: I can't get on the Internet.

Customer Support: Are you sure you used the right password?

User: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Customer Support: Can you tell me what the password was?

User: Five stars.

10.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Customer Support: What anti-virus program do you use?

User: Netscape.

Customer Support: That's not an anti-virus program.

User: Oh, sorry.. Internet Explorer.

11.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

User: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

12.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Customer Support: How may I help you?

User: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Customer Support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

User: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

13.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Customer Support: Okay Ramu, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager.

User: I don't have a P.

Customer Support: On your keyboard, Ramu.

User: What do you mean?

Customer Support: "P"...on your keyboard, Ramu.

User: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

14.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A woman DNS User called the help desk with a problem with her printer.

Customer Support: Are you running it under Windows?

User: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. Shyam sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.

15.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Customer Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.

User: Ok.

Customer Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?

User: No.

Customer Support: Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?

User: No.

Customer Support: Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?

User: Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.